(Eminem as 'Stan')
Dear Slim, I wrote but you still ain't callin
I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom
I sent two letters back in autumn, you must not-a got 'em
There probably was a problem at the post office or something
Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot 'em
But anyways; eff it, what's been up? Man how's your daughter?
My girlfriend's pregnant too, I'm 'bout to be a father
If I have a daughter, guess what I'ma call her? I'ma name her Bonnie
I read about your Uncle Ronnie too I'm sorry
I had a friend kill himself over some bitch who didn't want him
I know you probably hear this everyday, but I'm your biggest fan
I even got the underground stuff that you did with Skam
I got a room full of your posters and your pictures man
I like the stuff you did with Rawkus too, that shit was fat
Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back
Just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan
This is Stan
(Chorus: Elton John)
My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why
I got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window
Oh I can't see at all!
And even if I could it would all be gray
But your picture on my wall
It reminds me, that it's not so bad
Not so bad...
(Eminem as 'Stan')
Dear Slim, you still ain't called or wrote, I hope you have a chance
I ain't mad - I just think it's messed up you don't answer fans
If you didn't wanna talk to me outside your concert
You didn't have to, but you coulda signed an autograph for Matthew
That's my little brother man, he's only six years old
We waited in the blistering cold for you
For four hours and you just said, No
That's pretty crummy man - you're like his favorite idol
He wants to be just like you man, he likes you more than I do
I ain't that mad though, I just don't like bein lied to
Remember when we met in Denver - you said if I'd write you
You would write back - see I'm just like you in a way
I never knew my father neither;
He used to always cheat on my mom and beat her
I can relate to what you're saying in your songs
So when I have a crummy day, I drift away and put 'em on
'Cause I don't really got shit else so that shit and helps when I'm depressed
I even got a tattoo of your name across the chest
Sometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds
It's like adrenaline, the pain is such a sudden rush for me
See everything you say is real, and I respect you cause you tell it
My girlfriend's jealous 'cause I talk about you 24/7
But she don't know you like I know you Slim, no one does
She don't know what it was like for people like us growing up
You gotta call me man, I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose
Sincerely yours, Stan -- P.S. -- we should be together too
(Chorus: Elton John)
(Eminem as 'Stan')
Dear Mister-I'm-Too-Good-To-Call-Or-Write-My-Fans
This'll be the last package I ever send your ass
It's been six months and still no word - I don't deserve it?
I know you got my last two letters;
I wrote the addresses on 'em perfect
So this is my cassette I'm sendin you, I hope you hear it
I'm in the car right now, I'm doing 90 on the freeway
Hey Slim, I drank a fifth of vodka, you dare me to drive?
You know the song by Phil Collins, In the Air of the Night
About that guy who coulda saved that other guy from drownin
But didn't, then Phil saw it all, then at a a show he found him?
That's kinda how this is, you coulda rescued me from drownin
Now it's too late - I'm on a thousand downers now, I'm drowsy
And all I wanted was a lousy letter or a call
I hope you know I ripped +ALL+ of your pictures off the wall
I loved you Slim, we coulda been together, think about it
You ruined it now, I hope you go to sleep and you dream about it
And when you dream I hope you can't sleep and you SCREAM about it
I hope your conscience EATS AT YOU and you can't BREATHE without me
See Slim; {*screaming*} Shut up bitch! I'm trying to talk!
Hey Slim, that's my girlfriend screamin in the trunk
But I didn't slit her throat, I just tied her up, see I ain't like you
'Cause if she suffocates she'll suffer more, then she'll die too
Well, gotta go, I'm almost at the bridge now
Oh shoot, I forgot, how'm I supposed to send this tape out?
{*Car tires squeal*} {*CRASH*}
... {*Brief silence*} ... {*LOUD splash*}
(Chorus: Elton John)
(Eminem)
Dear Stan, I meant to write you sooner but I just been busy
You said your girlfriend's pregnant now, how far along is she?
Look, I'm really flattered you would call your daughter that
And here's an autograph for your brother, I wrote it on a Starter cap
I'm sorry I didn't see you at the show, I musta missed you
Don't think I did that shit intentionally just to diss you
But what's this stuff you said about you like to cut your wrists too?
I say that stuff just clownin dawg, c'mon - how messed up is you?
You got some issues Stan, I think you need some counselin
To help your ass from bouncing off the walls when you get down some
And what's this junk about us meant to be together?
That type of crap'll make me not want us to meet each other
I really think you and your girlfriend need each other
Or maybe you just need to treat her better
I hope you get to read this letter, I just hope it reaches you in time
Before you hurt yourself, I think that you'll be doing just fine
If you relax a little, I'm glad I inspire you but Stan
Why are you so mad? Try to understand, that I do want you as a fan
I just don't want you to do some crazy bit
I seen this one shit on the news a couple weeks ago that made me sick
Some dude was drunk and drove this car over a bridge
And had his girlfriend in the trunk, and she was pregnant with his kid
And in the car they found a tape, but they didn't say who it was to
Come to think about, his name was... it was you
Damn!
