Narrator
Meet Eddie, 23 years old.
Fed up with life and the way things are going, he decides to rob a liquor store.
(I can't take this no more. I can't take it no more, homes.)
But on his way in, he has a sudden change of heart.
And suddenly, his conscience comes into play.
Dr. Dre
Alright, stop! (Huh?) Now before you walk in the door
Of this liquor store and try to get money out the drawer
You'd better think of the consequence
(But who are you?) I'm your motherfucking conscience.
Eminem
That's nonsense.
Go in and gaffle the money and run to one of your aunt's cribs
And borrow a damn dress and one of her blonde wigs. (Can I borrow this?)
Tell her you need a place to stay, you'll be safe for days
If you shave your legs with Renee's razor blades
Dr. Dre
Yeah, but if it all goes through like it's supposed to
The whole neighborhood knows you and they'll expose you.
Think about it, before you walk in the door first.
Look at the store clerk, she's older then George Burns.
Eminem
Fuck that. Do that shit. Shoot that bitch.
Can you afford to blow this shit? Are you that rich?
Why you give a fuck if she dies? Are you that bitch?
Do you really think she gives a fuck if you have kids?
Dr. Dre
Man, don't do it. It's not worth it to risk it. (You're right.)
Not over this shit. (Stop!)
Drop the biscuit. (I will!)
Don't even listen to Slim, yo. He's bad for you.
Eminem
You know what, Dre? I don't like your attitude.
(It's all right, c'mon, just come in here for a minute.)
(Mmm, I don't know.)
(Look, baby.)
(Damn!)
(Look, it's gonna be all right, right?)
(Well, okay.)
Narrator
Meet Stan, 21 years old.
After meeting a young girl at a rave party,
Thing's start getting hot and heavy in an upstairs bedroom.
Once again, his conscience comes into play.
Eminem
Now listen to me: while you're kissing her cheek
Smearing her lipstick,
I slip this in her drink.
Now all you gotta do is nibble on this little bitch's earlobe...
Dr. Dre
Yo, this girl's only 15 years old.
You shouldn't take advantage of her, it's not fair.
Eminem
Yo, look at her bush. Does it got hair? (Uh-huh.)
Fuck this bitch right here on the spot bare
Till she passes out and she forgot how she got there.
Dr. Dre
Man, ain't you ever seen that one movie Kids?
Eminem
No, but I seen the porno with Son Doobiest!
Dr. Dre
Shit, you wanna get hauled off to jail?
Eminem
Man, fuck that, hit that shit raw dawg and bail.
(Hee. It feels good to be home.)
Narrator
Meet Grady, a 29 year old construction worker.
After coming home from a hard day's work,
He walks in the door of his trailer park home
To find his wife in bed with another man.
(What the fuck?!)
(Grady!!)
Dr. Dre
Alright, calm down. Relax, start breathing.
Eminem
Fuck that shit, you just caught this bitch cheating.
While you at work, she's with some dude, trying to get off?
Fuck slitting her throat! Cut this bitch's head off!!
Dr. Dre
Wait, what if there's an explanation for this shit?
Eminem
What? She tripped? Fell? Landed on his dick?
Dr. Dre
Alright, Shady.
Maybe he's right, Grady.
But think about the baby,
Before you get all crazy.
Eminem
Okay! Thought about it. Still wanna stab her?
Grab her by the throat, get your daughter and kidnap her
That's what I did. Be smart, don't be a retard.
You gonna take advice from somebody who slapped Dee Barnes!?
Dr. Dre
What'd you say?
Eminem
What's wrong? Didn't think I'd remember?
Dr. Dre
Imma kill you, motherfucker!
Eminem
Ah-ah, temper, temper!
Mr. Dre? Mr. N.W.A.? Mr. AK
Coming straight outta Compton, y'all better make way?
How in the fuck you gonna tell this man not to be violent?
Dr. Dre
'Cuz he don't need to go the same route that I went.
Been there, done that.
Aw, fuck it, what am I saying?
Shoot 'em both, Grady, where's your gun at?
*gunshots*
